Some days, I just feel distracted. Sometimes, I blame it on support. I’m in the middle of doing something, and a call comes in. Other times, I blame people, I’m at Rose Cafe right now, trying to get work done, and a woman from Gold’s (who I’m not particularly fond of), comes up and talks to me for half an hour. Why does this happen?
The truth is, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’m always ‘behind.’ I’m always playing ‘catch up’ at work, and I have to balance the things I have to do now, the things I should have done yesterday, and the things I’d like to do before tomorrow. But if I could eliminate all the things that I should have done yesterday (by doing them yesterday), maybe I wouldn’t feel so distracted? Sometimes I think distraction is just a way for me to “escape.” It’s like drinking or partying, it’s used to escape my current situation. Not that I need to escape from it, but because I feel overwhelmed by it. I have so much going on, that I can’t focus on what’s in front of me. And maybe it’s because I always bite off more than I can chew, or maybe it’s because I am a procrastinator and I only take care of what’s absolutely essential every day, instead of going above and beyond to reach my goals. Whatever it is, it needs to change.
For now, until I can nail down the root problem, I’m going to blame the procrastination, and not finishing everything I want to for the day before the day is over. I think if I finish everything i want to do, every day, I’ll be able to be more “present” in the moment, and not want to throw a woman from Gold’s through the window when she tries to talk to me.
Anyway, just a thought. I’m going to get to work. Over and out!